Instant gratification

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like I need to have something I want right away. However, I am learning that the good things come to those who wait. As you may or may not know, May of this year I joined CrossFit Bane. It started off as a 10 punchcard, and I went about maybe twice a week then worked up to three times a week.  When my punchcard was used I was hooked I started in June at 5 days a week. However let me backtrack for a moment. At the end of May, my family went to Walt Disney World. It was my daughter's first trip and I knew I wanted to look my best. Did I know that I think I looked decent yes. With everything that I had gone on in the last year, something that maybe I will talk about later, I knew that I had let myself go. However now that I go to Bane five days a week, and I'm eating healthier, I came across this picture.

I look happy, and I'm dressing like I feel comfortable in my skin, but I really don't. Did I know that I had some weight to lose yes, did I really think that I let myself go that much no way.so yesterday, after I found this picture, I had to take a picture.

I know from this picture that you can see the changes, they're not that drastic but you can see them. But you see, I don't see them. Sometimes I feel that we focus on our flaws, that we don't see the progress that we've made. Yes, my friends comment on the changes that they made and I graciously accept the compliment, but now I really need to start seeing it. I know that I am putting in the work, I'm eating healthier and feeling better I just need to cut myself some slack. I didn't put the weight on overnight, I can expected to fall off overnight either. I guess what I am trying to say, is I am proud of myself. Getting healthy isn't something that can relished. It isn't something that will provide instant gratification, but in the long run, I know I will be better for it. I will be around longer and be healthier for my daughter, and quite frankly, that in itself is gratification enough. So, whenever you feel like giving up, and trust me I have, ALWAYS remember why you started. I promise, you will get there.

Not how I wanted to start the month

Happy October 1! Where did the month of September go, but more importantly where has 2014 gone?!? I can't believe that we are closing in on the final months of the year. The final chances to hit those goals that we set in January. Do people even still set New Year's resolutions?!? I know last year I set one about running 2 half marathons in 2013 and I ran 6. Guess I can make that my resolution until 2016!  I don't even know what my resolutions were for 2014, nor do I know if I made any of them. What I do know is that I am not sure yet if I should even bother setting them in 2015. What does it mean if you don't accomplish them? Does it make you less of a person? Does it make your self-worth go down? I think that maybe instead of resolving to so something new and different I should resolve to stay the status quo. 

I lie awake at 3:40, knowing I should be resting to head to the gym at 4:30 this am. But, it doesn't look like it is in my cards for today. I have been awake for the last 2 hours coughing so hopefully I can find some rest in the next couple of hours until I have to get ready for work. I try to work through it, and I try to push myself, but sometimes you just have to listen and rest. With my first competition 17 days away, I am paying extra attention to what my body needs and hopefully nurturing it back health so I can lift heavy things.

How often do you listen to your body and take rest breaks? Or do you push yourself and hope you can sweat out what ails you?

Long time coming

It has been a long time since I last wrote on this blog. A long long time. A little over 11 months to be exact. A lot has changed in my personal life, a lot has changed in my professional life, but most importantly, a lot has changed with me.  I don't even know how to start to catch anyone up on the whirlwind of the last 11 months. I guess I won't, well not yet.. It's not that I don't want too, I just don't think I am ready yet to go through those emotions again. Where I will start, is today, I will try to blog on here as often as I can, I can't promise everyday, but maybe if I promise you three times a week, I won't be disappointed if I only make it on here those three days, or if I make it more often, then I can feel like I succeeded at something.
Today...today is the last Sunday of September. I don't know about you, but I am not ready for September to be over. I am not ready for the hustle and bustle that is shortly behind it getting ready for the holiday season. I am not ready to embrace fall, because on its heels is winter. Yes, I LOVE winter, but I don't think I have recovered yet from last year, and from what I hear this year will be worse. But, what really concerns me is October. Yes, October. I know...it starts Wednesday, and that scares me. Why...well my first big CrossFit competition is on the 18th. I have 20 days to feel like I am ready, and right now I feel like I bit off more than I can chew. Am I scared, yes. More scared that I will disappoint myself and my daughter than anything else. I know that this competition won't be like anything else I have every done. I already feel that it is bigger than any race I ran...bigger than any exam I took. Why? Because I have only been at CrossFit Bane full time since the end of June. Only 3 months full time and I thought it would be a great idea to sign up for a competition. Am I crazy? Probably. I am throwing that in the mix of balancing a paleo eating challenge, getting my masters degree and being a single mom. I guess I like my plate super full. I also know that going to the gym has helped me deal with a lot of stress. I am thankful for the people friends I have made who I push myself against every day. I am thankful for the comradery that pushes me out of my comfort zone. I am thankful to those that believe in me, even when I don't believe in myself...but at the same time, I am afraid I will let these people down.
So today, today I went to open gym. Today I wanted to work on my back squat and try to get a PR. Try today was definitely the key word. But, I at least got my original PR. My right hip flexor is really tight. I felt it with every squat, so I was afraid to push it too hard and get hurt this close to a competition. But, I got 195 and was ok with it. Yes, ok. I took my daughter with me, and I didn't want to disappoint her, even though she was too busy checking out the gym to notice. Still, part of me never wants to disappoint her. After today, I decided that I like Sunday open gyms. That I will make Sundays apart of my training week, except that I will do what is prescribed and not what I want on my own. The workouts are made for a reason. I feel like as important as it was for me to try to PR on my back squat, maybe I should have done the conditioning work. No, I should have. But then I wouldn't have enjoyed my daughter's first time at the gym. Her first rope climb, her first ring swing. I wouldn't have enjoyed seeing her pick up the kettlebell and with excitement say that she is ready to join the gym. No, I don't regret doing my own thing, I just know what I need to do next time. I am ready to step it up to the next level (although I am not sure what that is yet). I am ready to get that scale to finally start to have a 1 as the first number and finally be out of the 200# range. I have lived here long enough. I am ready to be the best me I can. If you can't join me and support me, then I am sorry, this will be good-bye. I have enough going on in my life, I don't need your baggage too.
How are you stepping out of your comfort zone? What are you doing to be the best you you can? 

Hershey Park Kids Fun Run

Saturday after a day of HersheyPark, it was time for Makayla to run her first run ever. She had practiced for this run for 16 weeks. I kid, no, really she had. Before we were even in the stadium, she even had me stretch with her. I told her to show me her game face...

She even had be get her race outfit ready before the race because she said that is what I do. Later I found out that she has to wear the official kids fun run shirt, but it still matched! While we were waiting for them to let us into the stadium for the kids run, she had me stretch with her. She kept repeating her mantra, "Do your best and forget the rest!" (She is so wise beyond her years).  Then it was go time! We found her age group and got put in the second heat. A we were waiting, i of course got teary eyes BC she kept telling me she wanted to run like mommy. As a tear fell from my cheek she gave me a big hug and tolde "No be sad mommy." I told her I wasn't sad but very proud and she told me to stop crying. So I did my best to stop the tears and then it was her turn to go. I wasn't allowed to wait with her so I told her to run towards the Kiss. I hustled the 30 yards that she was about to run so that I could meet her at the end. They said go, and off they went. And straight to the Kiss she ran! Then she saw me, ran straight to be and flew into my arms saying, "I did it mommy, I am a runner just like you!" I broke down and cried again, not because I was sad, but because I really am inspiring her and that is all that has ever mattered to me. 

Here is a close up of her metal, which was actually metal...

And because I was so proud, I made her pose with me...

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You inspire me Makayla every day in every way. I hope I show you how to be the best you can be and that no matter what, do your best and forget the rest. I will always be your cheerleader, and will yell as loud as you need me. I love you to the back of the moon.

The Sweetest Place on Earth

While many of my friends were running Runner's World Half Marathon or partaking in one of the many races that were offered, I did not. I did run that half marathon last year and I didn't want to run it again. Why? It's not that I didn't enjoy it, actually, I did not and I was in a lot of pain running that half. But, that wasn't why. There are so many half marathons out there, that before I start repeating them (with exceptions of course) I wanted to see what was out there. So, I signed up for The Hershey Half Marathon. Who wouldn't? It's a new adventure, check. 2 free tickets to the park, check. The Sweetest Place on Earth, check. So, Saturday Oct 19, Makayla and I drove to Hershey. 

When we arrived, we got stopped in traffic. NBD, I made the best of it..
This is when I really started to get nervous. I knew NOTHING about this race other than it was advertised as flat. (LIES! ALL LIES!) But, I was excited about the idea of running another half marathon, my second in 2 months! So, we headed to the expo. Now, this used to be my favorite part of the race, but lately they have been hit or miss. 2 out of 3 up to this expo were misses. Since it was at HersheyPark, parking was very plentiful. The ease of finding the expo was a breeze. I actually got to the expo before it even opened. 

Once we got inside, I was blown away with how small the expo was. They had a stand from a local running store, and some other stores, but nothing like I have seen before. Packet pick up was a breeze and even though they couldn't find Makayla amongst the registration, it was easy to rectify the situation.

I love how she is looking at the runners in this photo! Also seen at the expo were some of the Hershey characters...

Once I had seen it all, I think we went around twice to make sure, I had to capture the thing that made this race extra special...

This marked Makayla's first race! I was so very proud at this moment. Since we were waiting for my sister and her family to arrive, we burnt some time with some pictures near Chocolate World.

This character was by far my daughter's favorite. We HAD to look for him EVERYWHERE! 

Oh, and this was by far my favorite purchase...

Overall, the expo was small and simple and to the point. You were in and out and I liked that. You definitely were not overwhelmed. There was a lot of free stuff, and small amounts of stuff to purchase. So far, a good impression was made.

Stay tuned for race recaps, both mine and Makayla's!

Celtic Classic 10K

Did you ever have one of the days where everything felt spot on?!? Well, I did, and I am so happy to share it with you.  On Saturday, I ran the 23rd Annual Celtic Classic 10K. I hadn't planned on running any 10Ks, but my best friend Liz asked me to run her first 10K with her, so how could I pass it up. The money all went to The Special Olympics, so again, there was no way that I could turn it down. I woke up Sat morning and knew that I was going to wear my Saucony's without my orthotic because they didn't really help my foot at all. Other than that, I had no idea what to expect for the course, but I did remember reading in one of the emails that there may be some mud, so I assumed there would be some grassy areas involved.  We arrived at the race a little before 7 am and there wasn't too many people there yet (they were expecting 641) so check in was easy peasy. At 7:45 I took 2 Aleve and hoped for the best.  After talking with some of the other runners, I learned that this course was definitely different than the year before, but no one really "knew" the course. All I knew was that somehow we ended up at Illick's Mill and that we ended where we started. The atmosphere was awesome, the energy from the Kilts was awesome!! At 8:08 I crossed the start line and we were off. We started on road, and then went onto a toe path. It was absolutely beautiful out, and the scenery was awesome.  Somehow we ended up at Illick's Mill, and that is where I got chatting with a fellow runner and mentioned how this was my first time running this and he was like well, "you picked a bad year to start with all the hills." Not once in the race did I feel like I was struggling. I was and am very appreciative now of all of the training runs I have been doing with Aardvark, since almost every run has hills. I felt really strong going up the hills, and although my pace slowed down for them, I didn't really feel that I struggled. I just kept telling myself that I was ready for this, and no matter what, I can do it.  At Illick's Mill we went up and around and down and up and around (really, I felt like we just kept running in a circle) and then we started the return back. It was a closed course, like VIA, but I ran the entire race without music and just lost myself in the atmosphere. I actually enjoyed running without music. I just ran based on how I felt.  I pushed myself but made sure I saved some for the end. I crossed the finish line in 1:06:53, a 2 minute PR for me. I am so happy to see all my hard work paying off.  Premedicating with Aleve allowed me to run pain free for the first 6 miles, now, to see what other anti-inflammatory I can take for another 6 miles? Anyway, if you ask me again, I just might run this race again.
The only dislike I had was the difficulty in finding the race start. Even though I put the GPS coordinates it was still difficult in finding it. But, we did, with plenty of time to spare, and had a great time! What a way to celebrate my training, and my friend's first 10K.
Hope you had a great weekend!

VIA Half Marathon

So, today was the VIA marathon, half marathon and marathon relay. It also happened to be my friend Chris' first half marathon. I really had no intentions of running this half, why, I do not know, but I signed up to run it when Chris told me she was inspired by all I do and asked me to run it with her. How do I say no to that?  Let me first admit that I was a little undertrained for this half, but I also knew that I could do it. Today wasn't about me or PR's anyway, it was about getting my friend to cross the finish line and become a half marathoner. 

So, I got up at O-dark-thirty and headed to the start. I got there at 5 am!

Anyway, I waited and headed out to the start line by 5:15. I had no idea what to expect based on people and what not so I wanted to be early so I didn't have to rush. We were even there before the port a potties! Since this was Chris' first half, I tried to remove as many stressors as I could. Then we took a photo at the intersection of the start line Main St and W Walnut.

Then, we eased our way to the start line and then at 7:02 we started. Having not run this race before, I didn't know what to expect, BUT having run the canal path before I felt like I knew what to expect. It was a beautiful day for a run. There were very energetic volunteers at the water stations and their energy definitely helped today. They had adequate water and Gatorade which was huge for me and I was happy that they even had extra. The course was mainly flat with a few hills and it felt fast. I thought the mile markers were never coming, but was still excited to see them all. Let me just tell you how awesome the final stretch was. Having everyone there cheering and then a jumbotron and announcing your name as you crossed the finished line, THAT was awesome!! I really felt like I mattered even though I know I won't ever place.

I guess my only complaint is that there isn't live entertainment, but I don't exactly know where they would put it.  And, I don't think that marathon finishers should have to wait in line for a stretch, yes, I think they should have gotten their own tent.

We finished, 3 minutes under Chris' goal time. I am so proud of her! She worked so hard and even though she said I was a drill Sargent, I think she loved every minute of it.

Half number 5 is now in the books. Would I run this again, absolutely. Maybe next year this will be my full marathon?!??

Ok, now to rest. I have another half next month so I need to continue training for that! Hope you had a great weekend!